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The awful DNC convention could have been worse - Hillary could have done the Macarena again.
Warning: You can't un-watch it.
The Macarena was a mid-nineties triple threat. Not only was it a terrifying assault on the very concept of music as art, it also took aim at dance - and the dignity of those who succumbed to its horribleness. It was, to be blunt, a weapon of mass taste-destruction launched from Spain against the rest of the world.
No one was safe. It didn't matter if you were in a wedding, a theme park, a restaurant or an office building; you were in the line of fire. Like a nuclear detonation, efforts to duck-and-cover were doomed to failure.
This week at the DNC convention, we saw lies, exploitation, more lies, discord, and a Bill Clinton who (when he wasn't sleeping) looked like he barely knew where he was. It was equal parts boring, depressing, insulting, and wrong-headed.
However, it was at least Macarena-free.
As this clip from 1996 proves, that hasn't always been the case:
Ok but the 1996 DNC was lit pic.twitter.com/nuHp1lBND8— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) July 29, 2016
Oh the humanity!
Like the Alamo and the 5th of November, this should never be forgotten. This is how bad it can get. Consider yourselves lucky.