Someone stole a Secret Service agent's laptop right out of his car, but don't worry

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Published by: Dan Calabrese on Monday March 20th, 2017

We're sure this will be fine.

Hey, give them this: It's better than getting drunk and cavorting with Colombian prostitutes. And there's always the possibility that those were the agents assigned to the Hillary detail and the horror simply drove them to it.

But you'd think - and maybe you'd be wrong - these sharpshooters with the dark glasses and the earpieces would be invulnerable to a schlocky type crime like getting your own laptop stolen out of your own car. They protect the life of the president, after all. Surely they wouldn't let something as stupid as this happen to them.

Er . . .

ABC News, citing law enforcement sources, said the laptop contained floor plans for Trump Tower, details on the criminal investigation of Hillary Clinton's use of a private email server and other national security information.

The New York Daily News, citing police sources, said authorities had been searching for the laptop since it was stolen on Thursday morning from the agent's vehicle in the New York City borough of Brooklyn.

Some items stolen with the laptop, including coins and a black bag with the Secret Service insignia on it, were later recovered, the newspaper reported.

CBS News, also citing law enforcement sources, said that some of the documents on the computer included important files on Pope Francis.

The agent also told investigators that while nothing about the White House or foreign leaders is stored on the laptop, the information there could compromise national security, the Daily News reported.

"There's data on there that's highly sensitive,” a police source told the newspaper, adding: “They're scrambling like mad.”

So, nothing important. Nothing to worry about.

Just because the crook was clever enough to abscond with the laptop out of a Secret Service agent's car doesn't mean he knows how to get passed the encryption or whatever security layers it supposedly uses. (And that assumes the agent didn't leave it turned on when he stashed it in the car. Yikes.)

The fact that the crook dumped the other items but kept the laptop certainly seems to suggest that getting ahold of the information in the laptop was the whole point, does it not? And if that was the point of the robbery all along, might it stand to reason that the crook also possesses the knowledge of how to get past the security, or works with someone who does?

GDP growth for Obama's final year? A measly 1.6 percent

Yeah, I'm sure this will be fine.

By the way, if there's information about the Hillary e-mail investigation that we haven't already heard, what was the Secret Service doing with it? The Secret Service is a division of the Treasury Department, not the Department of Justice. They don't investigate crimes like the FBI does.

Oh well. Maybe the crook will let us know. If Julian Assange comes out this week with new Hillary dirt, hmm . . .

Dan's new novel, BACKSTOP, is a story of spiritual warfare and baseball. Download it from Amazon here!