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Seven show title suggestions for Obamaflix
We are the ones we've been waiting for.
If Barack Obama is going to do a production deal to develop content for Netflix - and apparently he is - he's going to need good advice from people with a flair for the creative. One problem for Obama is that he is not quite as cool, creative or original as he thinks he is - and he tends to be surrounded by sycophants who won't tell him when his ideas are a little short in the quality department.
Well. I've never flattered Barack Obama a day in my life, so there's no reason to start now. I'm quite sure I can come up with much better show ideas than he can, and I want to help because I'm just that kind of helpful guy.
So here are seven show ideas Obama can bring to Netflix. He doesn't have to pay me for this, although he will owe me a favor, and I will collect:
Acted Stupidly. Obama reviews out-of-context video and misleading news reports of decisions people make in response to life's challenges, then passes judgment on the wisdom of these choices. Later when it's revealed that Obama had no idea what he was talking about, he pretends to have made amends by inviting the guy to his place for a "beer summit."
Okie Doke. Obama addresses rising phenomena within the country that he thinks represent foolishness on the part of the American people, and in an attempt to connect with the unsophisticated rubes out there, abandons all pretense of coherence and talks like this:
Pick Your Platitude. Celebrity panelists try to guess which mindless platitude Obama will use when discussing the issues of the day. Double points for "We are the change we've been waiting for." Regular guest stars to include Barbra Streisand, Ed Asner and Mike Farrell. The winner of the full season standings wins the right to star in a movie in which Obama's policies were good for the country. Then again, that's pretty much every movie.
Suck Up, Scribe! Mainstream journalists take turns asking Obama questions like, "Exactly how awesome are you?" and "How do you find peace when racist Republicans are bashing you?" and "What, sir, has enchanted you?" Fox News is not invited. But you figured that.
China For A Day. Co-hosted by Thomas Freidman of the New York Times, we explore a world in which Obama doesn't have to subject himself to horrors like the constitutional limits on his powers, and he is free to "impose the correct solutions," not just on the United States but on the entire world. During special host segments, Friedman tries to explain what it's like to be a bestselling author and multimillion-dollar columnist who can't write to save his life. No one can make any sense of what he's trying to say.
Uncle Joe's Playhouse. If it's Obamaflix, it's Biden Time! Joe fires bullets through doors, sits on the laps of motorcycle mamas and gropes your 13-year-old daughter, all while rolling his eyes at the attempts of frustrated co-host Paul Ryan to explain fiscal policy in America.
Hag of the Hamptons. In a dark, twisted, supernatural thriller, Obama stars as a regular guy just trying to live his life, only to be haunted by a woman who thinks she was entitled to everything he's got and is obsessed with her belief that everyone has let her down. In a bizarre twist, Obama is forced to let this woman live and work with him, and is helpless to do anything as her corruption, incompetence and general horribleness makes his life a living hell.
At the end of the final episode, the hag declares that she will be getting her own show. Obamaflix disbands entirely rather than allow that to happen.
Dan writes Christian spiritual warfare novels and does all kinds of other weird things too. Follow all his activity by liking him on Facebook!