Major university goes into DefCon 5 over a racist 'noose,' except as it turns out . . .

Headshot image of Dan Calabrese
Published by: Dan Calabrese on Monday October 09th, 2017

Uh. Yeah. Not a noose. And everyone has officially lost their minds.

Sorry, Michigan State University. Even beating Michigan doesn't get you off the hook for this idiocy.

Here's the bottom line on American academia, circa 2017: Treating absurd things as if they're serious things, and thus causing people to have absolutely no idea that the way they see life is almost invariably insane.

What happened? I'll tell you what: Within the halls of a supposed institution of higher learning - you know, the place where you go to get smarter? - an institutionwide freakout commenced because someone thought they saw, in the floor in a hallway mind you - a tiny noose.

There's no reaction to this that can go too far!

And sure enough:

MSU President Lou Anna K. Simon released a statement Wednesday morning saying she was “distressed” after finding out “a student reported a noose was hung outside of her room.” Simon commended the student’s “courage” for reporting the “racial incident” and put out a clear message.

“This type of behavior is not tolerated on our campus,” Simon said. “No Spartan should ever feel targeted based on their race, or other ways in which they identify.”

But by Wednesday afternoon, the investigation by MSU Police revealed there was no noose.

Instead, they found “the object was a packaged leather shoelace and not a noose,” MSU spokesman Jason Cody said in a news release, adding that the shoelaces “are packaged in a way that someone could perceive them to look similar to a noose.”

Officers tracked down and interviewed the student who lost both of the shoelaces. That student happens to live on the same floor as the one who made the report.

The real absurdity here is not so much that one dopey student looked at a shoelace and thought she saw a noose, absurd as that is. No, the real absurdity is the reaction of the university, as if something this isolated and unimportant deserved the issuing of a statement from the president herself.

"No Spartan should ever feel targeted based on their race, or other ways in which they identify."

Clearly Ms. Simon has gone all in with left-wing identity politics, thus the "other ways in which they identify" addendum to the classic old statement about race of whatever else. Then again, maybe Spartans wouldn't feel targeted if they were smart enough to know the difference between a shoelace and a noose, but where are you going to learn that? Not in college, where they're too busy pushing screwy sociology theories about modern society.

I find it hard to believe that LouAnna Simon is really dumb enough to think an incident like this is worthy of her attention. Once her staff let her know about it, she must have rolled her eyes and facepalmed before signing off on the boilerplate, politically correct public declaration prepared for her by her public affairs chief.

"Another idiot student who thought some stupid thing was a racist incident? My God. Fine, whatever, give me the statement to sign. I hate my job."

Something like that.

GDP growth for Obama's final year? A measly 1.6 percent

Yet she's the president of the university and she's playing along instead of putting a stop to it. Pretty much all of them are. 

Here's a question: When was the last time one of these "racial incidents" or "hate crimes" or whatever you want to call them was actually traced back to a real white supremacist who really meant it as a threat, as opposed to a liberal-perpetrated hoax or just some stupid misunderstanding? If you know of any, say so in the comments. I honestly can't think of a single one in recent memory.

Yet everytime one of these stories pops up, institutions of higher learning go into DefCon 5, as if the fate of the republic hangs in the balance.

And people go tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars into debt, and delay the start of their earning life by four years, in order to attend these places?

Why?

Dan's new novel, BACKSTOP, is a story of spiritual warfare and baseball. Download it from Amazon here!