Bowl Cut Jr.'s missile launch doesn't go so well

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Published by: Dan Calabrese on Friday April 15th, 2016


I guess it’s a major embarrassment when you’re a communist dictator and you can’t successfully test an intermediate-range ballistic missile. It’s not enough that your entire country lives in squalor, or that no one can access a point on the Internet outside your communist-controlled hellhole, or that you shoot or send to labor camps anyone your paranoid mind suspects of not adoring you.

That’s all to be expected, but let that missile launch fail and even the other communists will get on you about it!

Poor Bowl Cut Jr. Yesterday was a rough day for him:

It was likely a Musudan, South Korea's Yonhap news agency said, an intermediate-range ballistic missile with a design range of more than 3,000 km (1,800 miles) that can be fired from a road mobile launcher but which has never been flight-tested.

The United States, which has 28,000 troops stationed in South Korea, said on Thursday it was aware of reports that North Korea was preparing to test intermediate-range missiles and was closely monitoring the Korean peninsula.

"Timing wise, today's missile was a cannon salute on the Day of the Sun, leading up to the party congress, but now that it has failed, it is an embarrassment," said Chang Gwang-il, a retired South Korean army general.

The North is scheduled to hold its ruling party congress in early May, the first such meeting in 36 years.

The North could not completely ignore the sanctions, but considered it the right time to attempt a missile launch to send a message to the world "we don't surrender to sanctions", Chang said.

Some experts had said North Korea may choose to test-fire the Musudan as it tries to build an intercontinental ballistic missile designed to put the mainland United States within range.

North Korea, which regularly threatens to destroy South Korea and the United States, often fires missiles during periods of tension in the region or when it comes under pressure to curb its defiance and abandon its weapons programs.

What does this mean in the big scheme of things? Pretty much nothing. The Norks have successfully tested other missiles (and they've had other failures), and they'll continue to do tests in defiance of the sanctions, which will result in exactly no consequences because the west continues to be terrified that, if pushed too far, Bowl Cut Jr. just might try to turn Seoul into a microwave with aluminum foil left inside.

The failure should serve as an indication that the Norks' determination to wield nuclear power is not quite as far along as they would like, and that there might be an opportunity to take advantage of that strategic uncertainty - whether that means destablizing the regime from within or taking some sort of military steps to take them down. I realize just about everyone has been sold on the idea, post-Iraq, that military action to take out a dangerous regime is always always always always always always a neocon-fueled disaster. But it would be a natural to absorb North Korea back into a unified Korea governed by the existing regime in Seoul, and if you want to talk about disasters, let's talk about North Korea as it is today.

Do you really want to go to war with North Korea?

I really want to stop being so weak, afraid and stupid as to publicly dismiss options that might take down bad guys who make trouble on a global scale. Bowl Cut Jr. will do absolutely anything he pleases, and no one will make him pay a price. Most western leaders will even go so far as to vow pre-emptively that they will never make him pay a price. We can count on his missile launches failing, or we can consider what might happen the next time one succeeds.

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